Consider my client, Meghan. She’s a doctor with two sons, one of whom has schizophrenia. Because of the severity of his condition, he has to live in a mental health home where he can receive 24/7 access to health care professionals. They also receive aid from their state because of her son’s diagnosis and inability to work or care for himself. Meghan pays the remainder of the cost out of her current savings. 

When Meghan came to us, she was scared of the unknowns her son might face when she’s gone. So, we got real with her. We asked her what worried her the most. As with all of our clients, we told Meghan that the more honest she was upfront, the more we’d be able to help. 

Meghan’s greatest fear was what would happen when she passed away, and her son had no provider. She was terrified of her son being alone without a safety net. She wanted to ensure a secure and stable financial transition for her son should anything happen to her. So, we took her list and brought clarity and awareness to every single one of her concerns. Together, we analyzed what could go wrong and discussed solutions for each potential obstacle. 

Knowing Meghan’s Unique Story and her fears, we worked with our attorney partners, who established a Special Needs Trust. The trust guarantees that Meghan’s son continues to receive the same level of care once she’s gone and that his state benefits will not be uninterrupted. The trust also allows Cedar Brook to help guide her son’s financial plan in the future, too. Meghan wants to know that powerful allies are in her son’s corner after she’s gone, and we take that responsibility seriously.

The hardest part for Meghan was being vulnerable enough to discuss her fears with us. But in doing just that, she received the peace of mind knowing she’s now doing everything she can. She’s controlling the controllable. Now, she’s in the driver’s seat instead of feeling like the unknowns are guiding her life. 

Maria is one of those clients. She came to us over a decade ago, a divorcee who’d been on her own for a while. She’d been able to remain financially stable for herself and her children and made some really good decisions to set them up for continued financial success. But she didn’t always see it that way. Maria had trouble looking towards the future, but we pressed her and have continued to encourage her along the way using The Humanity Factor. Because of it, she’s become hyper-focused on a future that would make her happy and has been willing to pivot her plan to bring those things to fruition consistently. 

About a year ago—retired and in her 70s—Maria decided to follow her heart. Maria lives in Cleveland, but her daughter moved to Boston. As a result, Maria hadn’t been able to spend much time with her. She came up with the goal of selling her house in Cleveland and renting an apartment in a vibrant part of Boston, nearby to her daughter. She knew she’d eventually aim to buy a place in the Boston area and settle down again, but she wanted to rent there for a year or two in the interim. 

When Maria presented us with this goal, she had some worries, including being able to apartment-hunt while still in Cleveland and other logistics. She also worried, like so many do, whether she’d have enough money to make it all happen and how it would impact her finances down the road. So, we did what we always do—we proved it to her. We showed Maria she had the opportunity to move states and still enjoy retirement with confidence. Once we relieved her concerns, we encouraged her to go for it. By freeing up her mental space from worrying about money, we left extra time for her to be excited and happy about the decision. Then, we were collectively able to celebrate. 

I’m proud of Maria, and it’s been great to see how happy she’s been about this change. It’s put an extra pep in her step. She’s more alive now than ever. The Humanity Factor approach allowed her to do this because it helped her reflect on her bigger future and reflect on the things that were most important to her, in this case, proximity to her family above all else.

One of my clients, Molly, is someone who tends to be too hard on herself. She is an accountant, so she’s all about the numbers and loves her spreadsheets. Molly worked as a banker in Cleveland when she realized she wanted to become a CPA and eventually move to Southern California with her husband.

But, Molly fixated on repaying her student loan debt before she moved out west. During a planning meeting, she expressed frustration that she wasn’t further along in that goal. The fact is, she had already made a huge dent in it. I told her, “Look, you’re measuring wrong.” I pointed out that she had a lot of valuable skills and career experience. I explained that she and her husband were actually well situated to make a move, and together, we measured backward to prove it.

Feeling more confident, Molly and her husband took the plunge, and it paid off. She got a great job at an accounting firm in Los Angeles, and they quickly made a life for themselves. Recently, Molly made partner at her CPA firm, and they bought a house. By all accounts, they’re doing it right.

But at the end of the day, Molly is still a numbers girl and still worries about paying off her college loan debt. And that’s ok because I continue to take her through the process of measuring backward—and now she has even more to show for herself.

When Martin and Delia came to me, Martin was beating himself up over some missed opportunities in the past. He made a few investments that didn’t work out and other investments that he felt he should have made but didn’t. He was gripped by regret over his decisions and was fearful he had cost him and Delia a comfortable future.

But from a financial planning perspective, that wasn’t the case. Martin and Delia were excellent at managing their expenses. They were good savers from early in their marriage, so we had plenty to work with from a planning standpoint. Buying an RV was on their list of “what-ifs.” They had dreamed of visiting the state parks, but Martin felt that goal was out of reach because of his financial hiccups. 

We addressed Martin’s concerns by reinforcing his strengths, which he was having a hard time recognizing. Instead of focusing on specific investments and numbers, we took Martin and Delia through their journey: Martin and Delia both worked steady jobs, together they had built up their savings, and they had already paid for their children’s college education. In other words, they were in great shape, but someone needed to point that out for Martin.

We caution clients not to let perfection get in the way of progress. Martin was fixated on that ideal future we discussed in Chapter 2. Sure, we all wish we would have invested in Apple or Amazon very early on, but that’s not how life shakes out for most of us. Martin needed to know that what he and Delia did was even more important than striking gold: they lived within their means and prioritized educating their children. Getting our clients to a place of gratitude is essential for us. At Cedar Brook, we believe gratitude grounds you and allows you to see the future more holistically. 

For Martin, we tried to shift his focus from his missed opportunities and past mistakes to his good habits and stability. We told Martin and Delia, “You’re in a solid position. You’ve earned this, and you’ve done it together. You should be proud of what you built. Everything didn’t work out perfectly for you, but it doesn’t for anyone. You don’t have to let that uncertainty dictate your future.”

Martin and Delia worked with another advisor for a long time before they came to us, and that advisor’s conventional wisdom and impersonal approach weren’t effectively maximizing their resources. They needed something different to take their financial plan to the next level, but Martin was naturally skeptical. He’d seen things go wrong, so when he came to us, he wanted to know when the other shoe would drop. Delia, on the other hand, was ready. They worked hard to get to this point, and she wanted to enjoy the payoff for all their work. But Martin’s fears were holding them back. That’s why we were glad they came to Cedar Brook.

The moment it clicked for him was the preliminary financial plan meeting. We call it “the Decision Center.” Martin sat across from me and said, “All right, it sounds great in theory, but what are you missing? What if ‘X’ happens? What if ‘Y’ happens? What if the world implodes?” And we just modeled everything in. We just kept modeling every scenario he could come up with and said, “If ‘X’ happens, here’s what it would look like, and here’s how our plan will mitigate its impact on your future.”

Step by step, we used the numbers to prove to Martin that his past actions were more positive than he imagined. Once we took the weight off his past, we got Martin excited about his bigger future. He could daydream about making work optional, being there for his future grandkids, and hitting the open road in his new RV.

That’s when I saw his swagger and confidence come back. Delia was filled with gratitude. She said, “Martin, let’s not waste time.” They dropped their advisor as a result of this process, and they started working with us exclusively

I met Lauren years ago. She came to Cedar Brook when her husband died unexpectedly. Before he passed away, Lauren was a stay-at-home mom, and her husband, Patrick, owned a business. They were a young couple with three small children, so they didn’t have a lifetime of savings. Still, Patrick worked hard to grow his business, and the couple invested in life insurance. They had a plan for the kind of life they wanted to live, but when Patrick passed away in his forties, that life was gone. His death gutted Lauren and their children. 

A financial plan couldn’t take away their suffering, but Lauren’s family had something to be thankful for: the thought Lauren and Patrick put into their future. In the months after Patrick’s passing, Lauren had the space to grieve and support her children. It would have been a gut-wrenching time for her to wonder, “Do I have to sell the house? How quickly do I have to find work?” During those critical first months, her kids needed her. 

Lauren and Patrick’s financial plan gave her the time and space to be with her children in the aftermath of a crisis. During a challenging moment, your plan will allow you to focus on the essential things and eliminate basic security fears like, “Will I be able to put food on the table or keep a roof over my family’s head?”

Another couple, Carlotta and Ronan, are a writer/director and an actor, respectively, in their mid-thirties. Carlotta has worked her way up the ladder in her field and is now on a very significant project with Disney. Both of them are creatives by nature, and numbers, in general, are confusing to them. Since they both work on a project-by-project basis in non-traditional jobs—feeling adrift from the rest of the world—they were scared they would have to work forever just to make ends meet. They were fearful they’d also need to rush from project to project to stay afloat. All-in-all, they were stressed.

We went through The Humanity Factor™ with them, focusing on their strengths, and were able to show them they had a lot more breathing room than they imagined. Although they were project-based, some projects paid a great deal of money and offered more flexibility to save in those moments. Carlotta’s current project is high-paying but is also very time-consuming and detail-oriented. So Ronan elected to take a break from acting projects and teach acting for the time being so he can be home with their toddler-aged daughter. This saves them money in childcare, offers flexibility, and allows them to save more of the funds coming in from Carlotta’s project.

We also showed them how the extra income from some of their projects could allow for free time in between to celebrate and exist before they needed to rush to sign onto their next gig. It gave them a lot of peace of mind and removed the worry they may have otherwise carried with them for the next 30 years, constantly stressing whether they would financially make it or not. By getting them to focus on their strengths, we were able to ground them while unwrapping some of the mystery they’d previously felt around the numbers. 

We have a client, Donald, who had his heart set on a very specific date for him and his wife, Janet, to both retire. They’re both in their early 60s, and right now, he works for a manufacturing company, and she works at a school. Considering the state of the market, they didn’t feel it was the right timing—they were fearful their numbers would find them white-knuckling it. For Donald and Janet, the most important objective in their Living Plan was to have a certain amount of extra pocket money during retirement. The way they saw it, they’d raised a family, always running a tight ship, and they’d worked really hard. But in retirement, they didn’t want to have to live so tightly on cash; they wanted some extra wiggle room. 

To make sure their retirement was as they envisioned, we crunched the numbers again, and they elected to work at least one more year—possibly two more. They both like their jobs, so extending the date isn’t a struggle. Now, they’ll have less time they’re living out of their portfolio and another year or two that they’re saving. This means more money going into their growing pot. 

Examining your numbers will allow you to make choices about your future instead of feeling like the money is in control of you. There’s flexibility built into this for anyone. There’s no one stringent way to go. There’s more than one right answer; there are multiple right answers. When they’re presented to you, you can decide how you want to make them as a family and do so confidently and without regret. 

Another couple, Soren and Patricia, are clients of ours who have lived in Cleveland forever. Their daughter attended Miami University, where she met her future husband, and the two of them now have children of their own. They’ve made a life for themselves in Cincinnati, five hours from Cleveland. Like many grandparents, Soren and Patricia want to be able to spend time with their grandchildren and want to watch them grow up. They want to be there when the kids start playing T-ball and for lots of other events in their lives.

Soren and Patricia decided to dip their toes in the water and rent an apartment, under a one-year lease, near their daughter in Cincinnati. They take two weeks at a time to go and stay at the apartment, then they head home for two weeks and stay at their house, and repeat the cycle. Being able to spend time with their grandchildren like this, they knew they wanted—and needed—more of it. It broke their hearts every time their grandchildren would say, “Why do you have to leave? Can’t you just stay, Nana and Papa?”

Not to mention, when they’re in Cincinnati, it takes a lot of pressure off their daughter and son-in-law, both of whom travel for work. It’s helpful to know that when things come up, the grandparents are right around the corner to help out with the kids. 

Soren and Patricia came to us, laid this all out, and told us they’re now interested in selling their house in Cleveland and buying a place to live in Cincinnati full-time. Their first question to us was, “Can we do it?” Then, they asked, “And if we can do it, what can we reasonably afford to buy?”

We were able to take this goal, match it to their numbers, and prove to them that they could absolutely make living near their grandchildren a reality. We showed them the concrete numbers to prove they could make this decision with confidence, knowing it will not negatively impact their futures. Now, they’re excited about their decision to move, and we relieved a lot of that nervousness they had when they entered our office for that conversation. 

Like Soren and Patricia, I recommend you dream big and allow those dreams to be realized. After all of the hard work you put in to prepare and save, don’t you think you deserve to have/do the things you always wanted? Sometimes people are afraid to dream because they are afraid the answer to them is going to be no. But why not take a chance and find out? Even if the answer is no, there could be an alternative solution, and you might be able to experience the thing you want, only in a different way. And it will be equally as meaningful. 

I have one client, Darryl, a retired firefighter/paramedic who now works as a bus driver for a local school in his community. His pension covers more than his expenses, but he’s a saver. He’s saved throughout his life to ensure his wife and daughter are cared for when he’s gone. His daughter is now married, and she and her husband are financially stable, with two kids. However, Darryl has never turned off the thought that he needs to provide and care for her. He was happy, but he knew there were many more fun things he could be doing with his money; he just wasn’t sure he had enough expendable cash to meet all of his goals.

But he did. Using The Humanity Factor™, we got very clear on Darryl’s ‘why.’ Once we learned what mattered to him, we crunched the numbers. We found that Darryl could continue saving for what was important and find time to pursue his retirement dreams, such as visiting Disney with his grandkids. He regularly tells me that he loves working with Cedar Brook because we make him feel like family. That’s The Humanity Factor™.

Let’s consider two of my clients. Nick and Stephanie are a brilliant power couple in their mid-50s. Unfortunately, Nick was caught up in conventional wisdom, which meant he was hard on himself regarding the family’s finances. Nick and Stephanie had a financial advisor they were working with who they weren’t happy with, so they decided to check out Cedar Brook.

Nick and Stephanie were heads of departments at their respective Fortune 500 companies, and their workplaces were constantly changing, whether it be new bosses or new directives. Simultaneously, the bar kept getting raised higher and higher in their roles, and more and more was being asked of them. They were both being rewarded for it financially, but they were wearing golden handcuffs, so to say, and sometimes the stress of it all didn’t seem worth it.

Ultimately, they were burnt out, and they both wanted financial independence to be possible sooner than later. When Nick and Stephanie came to us, they felt like they needed X-number of dollars to get out of the rat race and became obsessed with getting on the other side to the point that it was impacting their health. They told us how the stress was affecting them and kept asking, “Why work this hard to retire when we’re going to be too sick to enjoy it?” The couple felt like they needed to be doing something different with their savings so they could retire sooner, but they weren’t necessarily sure where to start. 

Instead of focusing on the dollar amount, we Mined their Bliss by aligning their assets and resources to what they wanted to accomplish. We learned that the couple had two daughters, and had already paid for their college education, which meant their children had graduated from university debt-free and landed good jobs. They were successfully launched! In Mining their Bliss, we discovered Nick and Stephanie were in a great financial position and had a lot to be proud of. 

But still, we had to ask the hard questions to the core of ‘why’ they were working so hard. Through that exercise, they could see that the math looked good, and in that case, what was all of the stress really for? 

We got their nose out of the spreadsheet by getting to the heart of the matter. Suddenly, Nick and Stephanie felt gratitude for where they were and how they got there.

After we reflected on the ‘why,’ we moved into Cultivate Your Contributions. They realized they wanted to spend more time with their daughters and future grandchildren. And they wanted to pick up hobbies and passions they’d neglected while building their careers. They love to travel. They realized those simple goals were worth more than a couple of extra zeros on the balance sheet. We helped them work less and enjoy life more without sacrificing their retirement goals.

What we ended up creating was a bucket strategy for them where—because they are young—longevity and sequence of return risk was a big issue. We did this by setting the first several years aside in cash for money they know they will spend, another set of money was placed in fixed income to be used as the next set of spending money. Then, the remainder was invested in a long-term growth strategy that could be left alone to do what it does over time, regardless of how markets were performing in the short term.

By the time we moved into The Leadership Lever element, Nick and Stephanie found there was light at the end of the tunnel, and they knew it was within reach. Once a “work optional” life was on the horizon, their mindset changed. Now work was what they chose to do versus what they were forced to do. 

When Nick and Stephanie walked through our door, they carried the world’s weight on their shoulders. But, by honoring their Unique Story, that weight holding them down disappeared.

Mining their Bliss grounded them in being grateful for where they were, and being able to look to the future from a place of gratitude calmed them. They painted a picture of the future that aligned with their values and ambitions.

Cultivating their Contributions was a bright spot for the couple since Nick is insightful about investing practices. He actively cultivated his contributions, which included bringing strategies and ideas to Cedar Brook. 

The Leadership Lever element is ongoing. For example, we recently had a conversation where Nick and Stephanie asked if we could accelerate their retirement because of changes at both of their workplaces. Now, they’re confident enough to retire earlier than expected, but when they walked into our office a few years ago, they thought retirement was a far-off dream.

My client, Eva, and her husband, Ted, both work full-time. They have three children, two of whom are successfully launched, and the third is entering college. Eva and Ted are both successful; she is a sought-after consultant. Eva has many demands on her time serving in the roles of wife, mother, and business professional, but she’s made it a point to make time to volunteer with an organization she cares deeply about and one that brings her a lot of joy. 

Big Hearted Blooms is an organization that repurposes flowers that are used in churches for various events, like weddings, funerals, or other points of celebration in the church throughout the year. They use any of the flowers that would have otherwise been disposed of, and they repurpose them by bringing them to people in hospitals and nursing homes to brighten their day. The flowers go to patients going through particularly difficult times health-wise, those who aren’t being visited by family or friends, or patients who feel isolated, sick, or scared. Eva has always loved gardening, so she loves the aspect of caring for the flowers, and of course, she also loves bringing other people joy in the process. It’s a win-win and has made her fall in love with this organization.

We learned this information about Eva when we’d gone through The Humanity Factor™ and got to the softer questions, like “What does retirement look like for you?” She talked at length about wanting to spend more of her time with the organization in retirement since she loves every minute of it. We then made sure we focused her and Ted’s plan around that and put numbers behind it. 

Eva knows how precious time is. She is a breast cancer survivor, so she lives with a life-changing diagnosis in the back of her mind. She goes for her regular scans and check-ups to stay on top of things in recovery, but she wants to get to the good stuff faster. She’s not someone who wants to wait to do the things she truly enjoys. We’ve seen this many times with clients. When faced with their worst fears, people start caring far less about whether Mutual Fund A will perform better than Mutual Fund B. They just want to live their life – and maximize their opportunities.

So, that became important to Eva’s plan. We helped her come up with ways she could get there faster since volunteer work was such a big passion of hers. We were able to align her resources with that priority.

By letting Cedar Brook in on how important Big Hearted Blooms is to her, we could easily identify Eva’s purpose. When it came to deciding how much to save or spend or how aggressive or conservative she should be with her money, philanthropy was her driving force. Changing your perspective to one of working towards a special reward will greatly impact your financial decisions and outlook. Suddenly, the numbers become less meaningful. 

Consider a client of ours, Simone, who was married to an army ranger. He was involved in an off-duty boating accident and passed away, leaving behind Simone and three small children ages two, five, and seven. His family members’ lives were instantly changed. At the time of her husband’s passing, Simone was a stay-at-home mom. Luckily, her husband had life insurance, and she received benefits as a result of his military service as well. With that money, Simone was able to pay off their house. She then set some additional funding aside for the future and set some aside for tuition for herself to get her master’s degree in counseling—pursuing a career that was of great interest and importance to her.

Because they’d planned ahead with life insurance, Simone was able to come out of the tragedy financially stable. Now, a few years later, her kids are all in school, and she has even more financial freedom to go on a summertime trip as a family or go camping with the kids. Despite the fact that life is far different than she thought it was going to be, she is in a good place. In the years since her husband’s passing, Simone has worked with us to create her own financial plan, and now she never has to live in fear that she won’t be able to make things work. That clarity has relieved a lot of stress from her life, especially as someone who knows how quickly tides can change. 

Consider two of our clients, a married couple, Harold and Lydia. Harold was a very successful businessman who invented a type of technology decades ago that made him a great fortune. With money at their fingertips, the couple was introduced to an advisor with a history of good returns who worked in a niche of high-yielding investments. 

Harold and Lydia didn’t realize that higher yield can mean higher risk. The markets began getting away from them, and their losses started mounting. Seeing their statements, they became very concerned. They wanted to know what was happening and how to stop the bleeding. Because their plan with their advisor had been all about the numbers—targeting a high number return with no personal conversation about their past, present, or future motivators—they were at a loss.

They knew they needed a change of tactic, so their accountant introduced them to us, and we began developing a plan to get them back on track. Harold is 95 years old now and slowing down, so Lydia—who is about 15 years younger—became the CFO of the family so that her husband wouldn’t have to spend his last years pouring over financial statements and expenses. Lydia was tenacious and smart in the CFO role, and though she was not overly familiar with the numbers, she knew their finances were in turmoil. As a result, Lydia was panicked, and rightfully so. We calmed her down with The Humanity Factor™, getting to the core of why they wanted savings built up: so that she and their children and grandchildren were taken care of.

Knowing their specific goals, we recommended against riskier investments like the ones they’d been previously invested in because though those had a chance of a bigger return, the risk was too high. We talked about transforming her dangers and maximizing her opportunities. The danger was that the market could have spoiled their retirement. We solved that by having a more conservative allocation because the amount of risk they had been taking did not match Lydia’s more risk-averse personality.

Lydia was fearful they were spending more than could be sustained, but that wasn’t true. We reviewed their numbers and proved to Lydia that they had plenty of money to live the rest of their lives as they wanted. Their previous financial advisor had regularly talked over her head and spit numbers and jargon at her, all in a condescending tone, so Lydia had been intimidated. This is enough to scare anyone who doesn’t fully understand the numbers. He might as well have been speaking to her in another language. Through the lens of The Humanity Factor™, Lydia was able to understand the numbers more clearly.

This approach helped Lydia get out of the “I’ve got to earn the best return” rat race and into a secure, grounded peace of mind. Lydia went from nervous and unable to sleep, thinking their life was crumbling away, to becoming a calmer and happier version of herself. That shift happened when we started making this plan about the things they cared about—their children and grandchildren, their pride and joy—and doing so in a simplistic way that Lydia could more clearly wrap her head around. Then, and only then, was there that sense of relief. 

If our planning were only about the numbers without the context, it would have caused more anxiety, hollowness, and lack of meaning. Now, they have perspective; they can see the bigger picture. Lydia and I talk regularly, and she can ask me questions whenever she wants. When she does, I’m sure to explain things to her clearly and without jargon. 

So, how do you start to move your mind from, “I want to keep up with those around me,” or—in the case of Harold and Lydia in the past, “let’s aim for the biggest numbers possible” to “let’s make a plan that matters to me”? The answer is simple: Apply The Humanity Factor™. 

Isabel and Logan are two other clients who came to us with their financial weaknesses top of mind but realized they had plenty of strengths working in their favor. Isabel and Logan were both teachers and have pensions (huge win!). They’ve always been scrappers, and throughout their careers, they also kept jobs in the summertime. Not only were they always working, but they were diligent about keeping their expenses low, too. 

These strengths resulted in good cash flow, and they bought a couple of rental properties as investments. They’ve since paid off the mortgages on those properties and now make a nice, steady income from them in retirement. Between that and their teacher pensions, all of their needs— and more—are covered. 

Beyond all of that, they also have about $3 million saved from long-term compounding, and they don’t touch that money simply because they don’t need to. They consider that $3 million a legacy for their children, a rainy day fund in case of a health event, or for anything else unexpected that may arise. Despite having a substantial net worth, they still keep expenses low. They don’t drive fancy cars, wear expensive clothes, or spend much on material things. They live a simple, happy life. 

For whatever reason—perhaps lack of confidence or modesty, as I’ve mentioned other clients get caught up in—when Isabel and Logan came to us, they thought they didn’t have much; they found it hard to see their strengths. For example, they didn’t consider how much value their pensions held. Once we could show them how many strengths existed, they could clearly see how much wiggle room they had. At that point, they started to feel confident that they could begin incorporating more travel into their lives and purchasing things they’d wanted, like new bikes, since they are avid cyclists. They had underestimated and discounted themselves, feeling like they were falling behind, but once they were aware and accepting of their strengths—they were able to begin doing and spending on the things they wanted.